Just a few more questions...

Shmuel of Shmuel's Soapbox published a survey of questions that I thought were interesting and encouraged us to answer them. So, here I am.

The Simpsons or South Park?

The Simpsons. Hands down. It's intelligent, funny, witty, and silly in just the right places. I've watched a few episodes of South Park and it's okay, if I'm in the mood for that kind of humor. I'm typically not.

Root beer or cream soda?

Root beer. I tried cream soda a few times and it's ingestible, but nothing compares to the time I was on my old fourth grade teacher's farm. She had homemade birch beer for the students and parents she invited to the farm. The birch beer was smooth and creamy and had just the right degree of bite. I loved it. Root beer I've had since doesn't compare, but that experience in fourth grade colored my tastes.

Arcade games: '80s or '90s?

'90s. Mike, while looking over my shoulder at the questions commented, "The '80s games have nostalgia, but the '90s games are far superior." I agree.

To be, or not to be?

I like my life, so I'd say "to be".

How do you like your toast?

Not quite burned, but the edges should be almost there. I really prefer to eat my toast with sunny-side-up eggs (one egg per toast slice) or buttered generously, but not both. I prefer English Muffins with butter.

How has your name been misspelled?

Most frequently, Eileen.
People have difficulty with the Ls in my last name. Coscoluella.

What's your favorite Monopoly property?

For some reason, I really like the yellow/green properties. I think my favorite one of those properties is Pennsylvania Avenue because "Pennsylvania" looks really long.

What's your favorite Internet mailing list?

To be completely honest, I don't have a favorite. There is no public listserv that I read every message with enthusiasm. It depends on the discussion that is currently happening on the various lists. One week, I'll enjoy a design list I'm on, the next week, it will be a journal-related list.

If you could have any one superpower, what would it be? Why?

Flying. I've always wanted to fly. In my dreams, I can fly.
Unusual, since I generally am afraid of heights, but I think the ability to fly would cure me. I'm not afraid of heights -- I am afraid of falling. With flight, I would never fall! I think it would be delightful, the choice of all world-class clutzes.

When you write, do you prefer to work in silence, or with something (music, television, etc.) on in the background?

I prefer having sound in the background, which drives Mike batty. My study is adjacent to the living room and I enjoy turning on the television and putting a tape in just to hear it from the next room. Most of the time, it doesn't matter what it is, as long as I have sound. Silence can drive me crazy.

You're a guest on Sesame Street, and they want you to sing a song with the Muppet(s) of your choice. Which song would you sing, and with whom?

I love Bert and Ernie. I would probably want to be sitting with Ernie in the bath, blowing bubbles and singing "Rubber Duckie".

Choose two of the following, and suppose that they have joined forces in a corporate merger. Describe the resultant commercial: Old Navy, Taco Bell, Tampax, Any car dealership, America Online, Pfizer, Any phone service.

America Online and Infiniti.
The commercial would start with a picturesque view of a light fog-filled fjord. The breeze is strong, but not violent, and the trees rustle. The soundtrack is the wind. After several moments of tranquility, a dignified voice pipes up in an impeccable upper-crust British accent, "At American Online, we know what you're looking for. Reliability. Connectivity. Community. Service." Cut to an extreme closeup of a smooth surface. The camera slowly pulls back to reveal... Jonathan Pryce in an impeccable suit sitting behind a black, modernesque computer. "Anytime. Anywhere." He looks at his monitor and clicks his mouse once. The monitor shows a browser flash (the sort of flash you get when you click on a link) and up pops up the American Online website. "A-O-L." The AOL logo appears in front of the monitor, large and centered on the screen as the monitor fades to the fjord, which fades to black. In small capital letters under the logo fades in "www.aol.com".

You have the opportunity to kill Hitler while he's still in the cradle. Do you do so, or not? Why or why not?

This probably sounds heartless and cruel, but I wouldn't.

There are a few reasons why I wouldn't do it. The primary reason would be a selfish one: I don't know how that would affect me and my life. I'm sure it would in a major way. My family was affected by the Japanese invasion and who knows where my family (or me, for that matter!) would be today. Who knows where the world would be today. Perhaps it might be even worse. Perhaps the acts of Hitler and the Nazis were a lesser evil.

My other reason for not doing it is an uninformed feeling that the world, as a whole, really learned something from the tragedies and human rights violations that Hitler instituted. I think it's a time period that we can point to and say that almost everyone believes was a Wrong Thing(tm), even those with wildly different political perspectives. There's a unification in that tragedy, and perhaps it could be seen as a catalyst for bringing understanding between people.

I'm also not sure if I could get myself to do it. I dream of death and killing and having that sense of power, but I'm not sure if I would be able to actually do it. Objectively, I would, if I could live without blame (or credit) from others. So, maybe I would do it after all. I'm waffling. I think that, inside, there lurks a really violent person that is only kept at bay from fear of reprecussions.